Life sometimes hits you in between the eyes with reminders. I got hit last night. It was a good hit, actually it was more like a whollop. A hard smacking whollop that I really deserved and needed.

This whollop happened at Earls with a very good friend of mine. I love seeing her; she grounds me, she makes me laugh, she delivers messages, and sometimes whollops.

I have been stuck in a quagmire of goop. Of sticky, messy, negative, self pity. Wishing desperately that things were different in my world. I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I didn't want what I had. I was wishing for freedom, for adventure, for raw passion that makes your spine tingle. I was wishing to run away. I was wishing that I was thinner. That I was firmer, that my breasts didn't sag, that my teeth were whiter. I wished that my clothes were different and that I looked like a funky mommy instead of a frumpy mommy. Ah, the list could go on.

However, last night, as I drove home and put my wee man to bed, the message was clear. Change my expectations and be thankful for where I am today, tomorrow and trust that I am where I am supposed to be.

This is not a new message for me. I know this to be true; if only I would STOP and think about it for a moment instead of getting caught up in my quagmire. It surprises me how easily I lose sight of this. How easy it is to get caught up on something that does no good to me, or those around me. Self pity.

It is the lesson that is for me to learn. I'm listening. I surrender. I'm letting it go.