Life sometimes hits you in between the eyes with reminders. I got hit last night. It was a good hit, actually it was more like a whollop. A hard smacking whollop that I really deserved and needed.

This whollop happened at Earls with a very good friend of mine. I love seeing her; she grounds me, she makes me laugh, she delivers messages, and sometimes whollops.

I have been stuck in a quagmire of goop. Of sticky, messy, negative, self pity. Wishing desperately that things were different in my world. I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I didn't want what I had. I was wishing for freedom, for adventure, for raw passion that makes your spine tingle. I was wishing to run away. I was wishing that I was thinner. That I was firmer, that my breasts didn't sag, that my teeth were whiter. I wished that my clothes were different and that I looked like a funky mommy instead of a frumpy mommy. Ah, the list could go on.

However, last night, as I drove home and put my wee man to bed, the message was clear. Change my expectations and be thankful for where I am today, tomorrow and trust that I am where I am supposed to be.

This is not a new message for me. I know this to be true; if only I would STOP and think about it for a moment instead of getting caught up in my quagmire. It surprises me how easily I lose sight of this. How easy it is to get caught up on something that does no good to me, or those around me. Self pity.

It is the lesson that is for me to learn. I'm listening. I surrender. I'm letting it go.

All aboard the Crazee Train

A good friend of mine shared recently shared her blog with me and I was inspired to see that she had added her own thoughts and feelings, along with updates about her incredible boys. I've been inspired. As a relatively new mom, I've been feeling that my identity is slowly chipping away and many people don't see me as the person I am, but only as the forefront role I take ~ which is being a mom. Another thought that I have had which has doubly inspired me, is that I have long felt that I didn't have a voice. I don't always have someone or somewhere to share my opinion and the frightening thing is that many times I don't feel I even have an opinion.

So all that being said, the Crazee Train is now MY place to share my thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions and whatever the else my spirit moves me to write. Grab onto the holy shit handle, as this is going to be a great ride!!